Performance based love~ Is not giving love freely..
This is just one aspect of performance based thinking~ From an unknown source
All my life I have been a performance based person with very high expectations of myself and others. I always wanted to do everything I could to make my parents proud of me. Now they did not demand that of me nor do I even ever remember them telling me that they expected that of me. As the oldest child and the only girl this was just something that I expected of myself. I felt like I was the one that should always take care of everyone.
This carried over into my marriage and family. I strived to be the perfect wife for my husband and the perfect mother for our daughters. Whenever I failed, it greatly troubled me. After my husband received a terminal diagnosis and we made the decision to go the alternative medicine route in dealing with that, I did everything I was told to do to keep him alive and well and it worked for a little over five years. I spent hours every day preparing fresh juices and raw food meals for him, putting his supplements in separate bottles to be taken at different times throughout the day, reminding him of all the things he had to do every day to help his body heal, and so much more.
Both of my parents were having health problems at the same time and I was scrambling to do my very best to take care of them as well. To say that I was living on “high alert” would be an understatement. My thoughts were that I HAD to do everything I could for all three of them so that God would answer my prayers for their healing. When they all three died in less than four months’ time, I was completely crushed. My performance had not been enough to merit enough love from God to keep all three of them here with me.
Yesterday I realized how erroneous my thinking was. God’s healing is not based on my performance nor on how much He loves me. There is nothing I can do to earn His love. He already loves me as much as He will ever love me. That truth is very freeing. It is something that I am going to have to continue mulling over and over in my mind. I guess that is what renewing the mind is all about.
Thank you, God, for opening my eyes and my heart to this truth. I know it does not negate the truth that I am to do my best for You, but it lets me off the hook in thinking that the more I “do”, the more You will love me and the more prayers You will answer for me.
Other extremes of performance based love is; When parents or partners only give love when things are going their way. You have to do something good to earn their love. achieve and accomplish something to receive love. This is wrong and very unhealthy thinking!
( Everyone is born with the right to receive unconditional love and unconditional acceptance throughout his or her entire life, no matter what.)
( If your love is performance based ; Please stop and get help! ) Performance based love, is no way to love..
Here are some facts ~
Love comes from God..
God is love and loves you unconditionally..
Love should be given freely..
Love is unconditional..
Love is forgiving..
Performance based love is not love..
There is no greater gift than love..
You can't buy true love..
Love shows compassion..
Love begins with You!
Will you PLEASE join me in sharing & spreading love to those you don't know, & who are in your life circle? Love is what makes us all shine and feel connected to one another! It truly starts with you..
Keep Moving Forward & Share the love.. <3 <3
Moving Forward With You